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The Psychology Behind Rejection

It is one of the most dreaded things by men: rejection. Naturally, humans have fear for many things, including the unknown, but the fear of rejection is not easily matched.

So, what is it about rejection that makes some men give up completely on the women of their dreams?

For any man out there, it is imperative that you understand the psychology behind a rejection so that you make every dating experience worthwhile. With these tips, you can also learn how to avoid getting rejected by women.

Why would a man be rejected?

Before we can try to understand the psychology behind a rejection, we need to understand why a woman will reject a man. Obviously, there are many reasons and they vary from one woman to another but there seems to be a single reason that is almost universally guaranteed to lead to a man being rejected.

The most common reason why a man will be rejected is because ‘he’s asked for it’. One fascinating thing about female psychology is that it is very instinctive: women are far better body language readers than men, so what a man thinks and believes inside can easily be translated in her brain in very subtle ways. So, however mild your nervousness will be, it will strongly come across to her.

Oddly though, women enjoy a tick of nervousness here and there, as long as the man is sure of himself and seems to know what he’s doing. What most women cannot stand is a man who is unsure of himself, and doesn’t seem to know where to take the conversation, next. If you ‘let a conversation die out’ and just sit there and stare at her awkwardly, be sure to get rejected at her earliest convenience.

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What causes fear of rejection?

There are various causes of fear of rejection. However, in the dating sphere, most people fear rejection because they believe it reinforces their sense of unworthiness. In other words, they have low self-esteem and a low value for self. Being rejected only goes to confirm that what they think or feel is right. 

Different people handle rejection differently. It can have devastating effects on someone’s life especially if they are the type who bases their feelings about themselves on what other people think about them.

When you have a feeling that you’re ‘lesser than others’ or that you don’t deserve another person, your fear of rejection is bound to intensify. Obviously, you cannot meet every one’s standards, likes or approval, and they know it, so you need to understand this basic fact to realize that fear of rejection can be so unfounded at times.

Some people even believe that the person who has rejected them is automatically very superior to them, or that they have something special about them. The truth is that rejection can disclose just as much, or even more fears and insecurities about the person who does the rejecting.

A relationship is not some kind of strange competition in which the person who suffers less becomes the winner. Sadly, a lot of people out there view relationships like this.

On the whole, rejection is a fact of life. You just have to make it more bearable by putting yourself out there again and again, and accepting that rejection is not an indictment of one’s being.

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