Overcoming Shyness: Developing More Ease in Social
Being “shy” or socially anxious is not a rare trait and should not be something which should cause shame. Many
people are timid and develop habits over time in relation to their connections with others.
This often stems from childhood or can be brought about by extreme traumas or rocky relationships. Overcoming
shyness: developing more ease in social situations is something which is not only possible but easier than you may
You are not alone. In fact, many famous celebrities have disclosed their diagnosis with “Social Anxiety”.
Barbara Streisand, Kim Basinger, Donny Osmond are just a few major Hollywood icons who have suffered from this long
term illness. Even the witty and hilarious Lucille Ball has claimed to be shy!
Knowing you are not the only one who struggles with this tendency should at least help disintegrate that feeling
of being completely alone. While being shy can affect your relationships or ability to connect with people, it is
possible to slowly eliminate so a more healthy social life can occur.
The affects of shyness and what it means. Having social phobias can and will ultimately affect your life in many
ways. For instance, you may have trouble meeting new people, dating or making friends. Shyness can inhibit your
ability to land jobs, succeed in your career or stand up for yourself. You may think it is something you simply
have to live with but it’s not and if you don’t address it now, you may end up living a very lonely, reclusive
Many people convince themselves they don’t need people or even go to the extreme by projecting negativity onto
others. They justify their hermitage with judgments against other people and feel they are better off without
connections or established bonds.
Unfortunately, these are simply excuses made to avoid overcoming shyness and developing more ease in social
situations. Yes, it takes work to do this but it is possible and in the long run beneficial. While you may think
being shy affects only you, you are incorrect if not selfish. Being shy affects anyone who knows you.
Past friends you may have had who continually reach out to you will be saddened by your lack of concern. Your
family members will lose the knowledge and wisdom you are meant to share with them in this life. Even your children
or future children can learn to become shy simply from your example. This is an affliction. There is nothing good
about being shy or socially fearful and therefore you must be committed to overcoming it first.
Making little changes is a good way to start. Once you have acknowledged your need to overcome shyness, you can
begin a journey back into the social world. Regardless of whether your shyness is mild or you have become a
complete recluse, here are a few ways to begin exercising your potential as a healthy part of society.
• Connect with family – This is the easiest way to start working on your social
skills. Even if you have completely alienated your family, begin by getting in touch with them. Your family is
going to be more understanding and more supportive of your desire to work on this aspect of yourself.
• Start small – If the idea of scheduling a meet up with a friend overwhelms you,
begin with a small initiation to get warmed up. Write a letter or send an email. Use technology and the internet
and begin socializing from a distance if you have to first. The smallest gestures of communication will begin to
open up those paths and as you gain confidence there you can begin overcoming your fears.
• Attend small events – Do anything which places you in a mix of people where you
may have to socialize. Volunteer for local charities or enter an organization of your interest. Sometimes
interacting with strangers is often easier than dealing with people you know and concerning yourself with
• Say “Hello” to at least 3 people a day – Whether you are at the grocery store,
grabbing lunch or at the bank. Simply speaking is a good place to start.
• Online dating – If meeting prospective romantic partners is difficult, start
looking online for potential romance. Many dating sites match people up with suitable others and certainly there
are plenty of people who are also shy and doing the same thing. Sometimes meeting someone who shares your fears is
a good way to create a support system and friendship. Then you can work together on overcoming this.
• Do the complete opposite – Find someone to hang out with who is completely the
opposite and extremely social. With their example, you will be forced into scenarios where you will be required to
socially interact with others. This will help jump start your way out of shyness and you may learn a few key social
• Work on your self esteem – Often, shyness is the result of a low self image or
self reflection. Work on yourself; do things which make you feel good about who you are. Read a few self help books
or seek professional counseling. Giving yourself a bit of confidence and empowerment will assist you on this
• Don’t be afraid to try and fail. It is better to try. You may stumble on your
words; you may fall down a few times and suffer embarrassment but hey, at least you tried! That alone is one step
towards social adequacy and eventually you will learn what works and what doesn’t. After some time you may even
realize you simply don’t care what others think of you.
By continuously arranging ways of overcoming shyness and developing more ease in social situations you are
deciding to take control of your life. Ultimately, your progression is up to you but with trial and error and
patience in yourself you will eventually succeed and learn you are worth the battle.
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