Online Dating Tips For Guys     

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Leveling The Dating Playing Field

You'll hear from a lot of confident and attractive guys that they enjoy success with women by having the right attitude.

You'll probably tell me, "That's a lot of B.S.! Everyone knows you're either born with it or not."

The truth is, you can have it EVEN IF you aren't born with it.

I won't deny the fact that not all men are created equal. But that has NOTHING to do with the reality that there are tons of ways to level the playing field for guys who weren't born with a perfect physique or a sixth sense about women.

That, my friend, is the common quality that all veritable studs have. It's the unshakable assurance that they have what it takes to define their reality.

If you want to tap your personal capacity for seduction, then the key lies within your attitude and beliefs that will drive you to success. It boils down to figuring out what can be changed...

...and then going on to actually doing something about it, (or find a way around them at least).

Take the case of an old friend, Mikkel. He comes from a well-off family and has established himself as a successful stock market analyst.

With so much going for him, anyone would assume that he has no problems meeting women. You'd only be half-right if you thought the same.

 Truth is, his financial status certainly helps get his foot in the door, but before he met us, he couldn't keep a woman interested if his life depended on it. An experienced guy in the same situation would have gotten different results.

So, we took it upon ourselves to educate him on the basic mental habits that can unleash anyone's inner stud:

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I won't waste any time by telling you that women want someone who is MATURE.

They won't go telling their girlfriends, "You know that guy I dated last night? The way he whined about his lack of success with women nearly pushed me over the edge...I could hardly keep myself from making out with him right then and there!"

Respect is way more important than any immediate desire. Sure, being with women is the objective of studying attraction, but it doesn't include sacrificing your dignity along the way.

The way you react to a situation greatly influences your date's level of respect for you. Mikkel would often complain to his dates about why they don't want to come over to his place for a few drinks.

What he didn't realize at the time was that the only people who won't be judged for whining are CHILDREN. Everyone else is begging to be left in the cold.

When you grovel at a woman's feet for love, affection or sex, you'll never have a happy ending in the long run. She'll either flat out reject your pathetic advances or milk you for all your worth before ditching you.

Mikkel would prolong his agony by showering undeserving women with expensive trinkets, but they would shy away, or worse, take advantage of him before leaving.

In the end, he was naturally creating a situation that decreased his self-worth and destroyed his chances of being in a stable relationship. The most you could get is a moment of sex but no real attraction is left afterwards.

Therefore, getting women to respect you is impossible if you can't keep a firm grasp on your emotions. It's better to be rejected while keeping your dignity intact than it is to get what you want by begging and pleading.

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While I'd like you to believe that dating is never a messy process, I would be lying if I didn't say that it's more of an exercise in trial and error. You can't learn anything worthwhile if you're too afraid to make mistakes.

In fact, being terrified to slip up somewhere down the road will keep you forever uptight and timid. Mikkel had come to fear messing things up so much that his whole approach to meeting women came undone even before he began.

Don't be like how he was, caring too much about the outcome. It's more important to have fun going out with women even if they don't turn out to be "THE ONE".

What matters is that you're doing what you can to be better, even if you don't succeed at first. Remember that any skill is mastered through application, and trying out something new will always feel awkward at first.

You'll make progress as you go along and will eventually improve your ratio of success and failure. We taught Mikkel that a woman's no's are stepping stones to greener pastures, even if it doesn't seem apparent at the time.

This important truth helped him realize that as long as he was learning about the right seduction techniques, it was alright to fail every now and then.

As he learned how to properly interact with women, he rewarded himself with small measures of gradual success. Even if a certain date didn't get him the goodnight kiss he wanted, he learned from the things that he did which prevented him from succeeding further.

Mikkel was able to loosen up since he assured himself that a rejection has little to do with the bigger goal of being more attractive.

His new attitude helped him relax around women, and they were quick to appreciate the lighter and friendlier version of himself.

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Besides, being so intent on going to bed with a woman within the first few dates reeks of desperation. Women will always sense it a mile away, and they'll instinctively put up a defensive barrier.

They'll turn you down and wait for someone else that's more interested in just having a good time and making them feel comfortable.

If they eventually take things more seriously, then great.

If not, the smart guy shrugs and moves on with his life. He knows that there are plenty of other women (and many opportunities to enjoy their company).


Remember those whiners I was talking about? They're also the same guys who complain that they shouldn't have to go through the "hassle" of being the first one to break the ice.

Mikkel used to tell himself, "What's the point of approaching a woman? I know she won't like me anyway!"

By believing that he didn't have a chance, he didn't bother talking to her at all. That, in turn, confirmed the belief that he IS unsuccessful with women.

A little self-fulfilling, isn't it?

While any guy would love to have a beautiful woman come up to them and start a conversation, only the whiners EXPECT this to actually happen.

Whiners are under the screwed-up impression that all they have to do is stand around for hot women to notice them.

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Wrong. Sure, there's a slim chance that a beautiful girl will just come up to you and ask for your number.

In my humble opinion however, the only guy entitled to think like that is James Bond. Any other man who exists in the real world shouldn't wait for a girl to come over and kick things off.

No matter how independent a woman is, it's only natural for the man to initiate the courtship process (even if she doesn't mind making the first move!).

By default, the stud assumes that it is up to HIM to approach a woman with his romantic interests while she's left to decide.

Look, I'll share a little secret with you. Women are conditioned to put up an emotional barrier designed to keep out the losers.

She'll drop her guard once she realizes how willing you are to pursue her. Of course, it could be that you're just not her type, but it doesn't hurt to be pro-active about seduction anyway.

Mikkel used to be bitter about this fact, but now he knows that it is his responsibility to start AND keep up the pursuit. While it hasn't guaranteed success for EVERY woman he's met, he's drastically improved his attractiveness.

Like Mikkel, I honestly hope you make these habits a part of your system. From a certain perspective, you can even say that the way you approach women also reflects your attitude with life in general.

Keeping your emotions in check, moving on with failure and being pro-active with daily affairs are habits that not only benefit dating, but the other aspects of your life as well.

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For an extra leg up on getting your approach skills better, check out 'The Art of Pickup':