Getting A 6th Sense In Dating
Any guy who's had his fair share of dealings with the opposite sex will eventually learn to spot the difference
between the "getting-to-know-you" and "let's-get-serious" type of dates.
When you've gone through different dating experiences, you naturally pick up a sort of "sixth sense" about these
For example, some guys realize that the tone and atmosphere of the first three dates is markedly different from
the next ones after that.
There's no getting around the fact that the stakes are higher once you're past that gut-wrenching acquaintance
(Of course, the "three dates" thing is just a rough estimate since it varies with every woman, but
As you would expect, the pressure to outdo yourself increases with each successful date you pull off. Think
about it: the equal prospect of having off-the-chain success OR spectacular failure is BOTH exciting and terrifying
at the same time.
On another note, your date is also expecting to feel all those good emotions she got from your initial dates, so
her own hopes will inevitably up the ante as well.
When you're in this excited/terrified state, there's a rush of chemicals swirling in your brain. The incessant
chatter buzzing in your noggin is already clouding your thoughts, and it keeps you from focusing on the prize at
Chances are, a newbie at dating will be distracted with the possibility of messing up rather than be revved-up
by the possibility of finally seducing his would-be girlfriend. That's the kind of thinking that keeps a LOT of
guys pre-occupied with useless thoughts like:
"Oh man, did she just subtly imply that she's not interested in me, or am I just imagining things??"
"Well, it CAN'T get any better than our last date...downhill is the only way for me now!"
Soon enough, you'll end up saying or doing something that seriously irks the hell out of her. Just when you
thought that all was well, a sudden flub comes out of nowhere and pulls the rug right out from under your feet.
Trust me - we've all been there at one point or another. Some of us wind up arguing with their date, or even get
a slap in the face for our troubles.
It's all part of the game, my friend. You win some and lose some, but did you know that you can tip that
victory/defeat scale in your favor?
Outrageous as it sounds, it is possible to turn a seeming disaster into an unexpected victory. Guided by the
right attitude, you can salvage your mistakes and redeem yourself in her eyes.
Believe it or not, there is a way to reverse the gears in her mind if you accidentally get it rolling the wrong
way. Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) will be quick to concede defeat and fold under the pressure.
But NOT you. I'll clue you in on some mighty useful guidelines to beef up your attitude with some damage control
First of all, SHUT UP. When you've hit a tripwire with a dumbass comment and the "you-know-what" hits the fan,
then it's time to zip your mouth and bear the brunt of her reaction.
Most AFCs make the mistake of aggravating the problem by NOT knowing when to let their date vent her side.
Look at it this way - let's say your computer breaks down before the warranty is up and you're feeling PISSED as
hell. Obviously, the next thing you'll do is pick up the phone and start ranting about how their crummy product has
set your work back.
Now, the poor sap on the other end of the line isn't going to interrupt you before you've told them what the
problem is about. The first thing they're gonna do is let you vent all that steam before getting a word in.
This is also how you're going to approach an upset date if you happen to disagree on something. Believe me, it
will be much easier for her to calm down once she's had the chance to verbalize what it is exactly that's bothering
Also, you'll have a better understanding of the real issue that's getting her all hot and bothered.
The next step is to confirm what she just told you. Going back to our angry customer example, the person taking
your call would have to repeat back what you just said to make sure that he fully grasps the problem.
(Of course, that's not the same as imitating another person as a form of mockery, because that'll clearly get
you into more trouble!)
Confirming her feelings in your OWN WORDS shows that you do care about what she has to say and that you're
really listening. I don't have to tell you that BOTH of those traits separate the men from the boys.
Most guys who have dating woes are the ones who just use the time she's talking to think of what to say next.
DON'T be that guy.
It doesn't stop there. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, you'll need to thank her for sharing her feelings with
you. While you may be thinking how crazy it is to thank the person who just ranted your ears off, this action
signifies that you appreciate her taking the risk in being honest with you.
If you're feeling that natural high from your last date, it's obviously a bum-out when things go south after a
flubbed remark or boneheaded gesture. What's worse, she has to go out on a limb and open up about what's bothering
So by thanking her, it helps re-establish that rapport that might have been a little rattled from your
After that, you'll have to go through a few more hoops to really seal the deal on patching up. Keep the momentum
going with assurances that you'll be more careful in not repeating whatever you said or did that got her riled up
in the first place.
More importantly, you have to show sincere remorse for having hurt her FEELINGS. Remember that women operate
mostly on emotions rather than cold, hard logic when dating. That's why it's essential to acknowledge that you
ruffled her feathers, so to speak.
While you're at it, it doesn't hurt to wrap up your little discussion by topping things off with another
positive remark about her. Take note that it should be directed towards how well she handled the disagreement, and
not about her killer figure.
Otherwise, you'll come out looking like a pathetic suck-up trying to weasel his way into her pants.
I'd also like to remind you that you'll have to keep a cool head during this tricky moment. I'd be a complete
tool if I didn't say that you're bound to be at least as upset as her when the date hits a snag.
But remember: women admire guys who are responsible for
their emotions and are more likely to sleep with men who don't give in to outbursts or tantrums. Simply said,
this is a perfect opportunity to let your MATURITY shine.
Ask yourself: is lashing out at her more important than ending the date on a good note? If you answered "no",
then you know it's best to keep it together instead of telling her how shallow she is for getting upset over a
The last thing she needs to hear is how her feelings are totally inconsequential to you. Do that, and you're
robbing her of her right to feel whatever the hell she wants to feel.
This is not to say though that you should be a spineless little "Yes" man who agrees with everyone's opinion.
You're basically just being smart enough not to mess up a perfectly good date by apologizing for offending her.
Like it or not, whatever you said or did HAS hurt her, no matter how right you think you are. You're simply
acknowledging her emotions and assuring her that it wasn't on purpose. Don't confuse that with kissing butt just to
In a nutshell, damage control is all about validating your pissed-off date's feelings and controlling you own at
the same time. It's about diffusing a potentially explosive situation rather than merely avoiding it.
The trick is really to contain the situation and make a possibly ugly scenario into a positive learning
experience. After all, your ultimate goal is seduction, so properly managing conflicts along the way helps you NOT
mess up your connection with her.
Sometimes you have to trust that a woman is the best person to share with you what a woman wants. If you want to
become the guy that women want, get the secrets from Marni Kinrys at:
Let's keep in touch.