What to Say After the Opener
It is not uncommon for guys to have the most perfect pick up line, gain the attention of an attractive female
and then fall short for lack of what to say after the opener.
This is normal and while nerves play a huge part, there are ways to brush up on this skill and have terrific
conversations which will lead to dates.
Here are a few ideas to help you get over the communication hurdles when approaching women.
Avoid the ummmm…….
It is very important after opening with a woman you know what to say. Otherwise you may find yourself in an
awkward moment where you stutter, mumble or say “ummmm”. This is a sure fire way to get shut down and lose the
attention of the prospective female. Check out these after the opener lines which could follow up and lead to
- Are you from the area?
In which case she will respond yes or no and you can continue a conversation about where you are from and where
you grew up, etc.
- I haven’t seen you here before; do you come here a lot?
If she answers yes, you can talk about the venue or neighborhood and the other places around you like to
frequent. If she says no, you can give her a quick run down on what to expect, what’s great about the area and why
you like it.
- Are you here with anyone?
This is a double edged sword type of question because not only does it let you know whether she is there with
another guy but also allows you to converse about her friends or whoever she may be there with. Of course if she is
there with a boyfriend, you may want to figure out a nice way to back off.
- What are you drinking?
This allows you to move forward buying her a drink and talking about the evening in general. It’s a casual way
to say, “Hey, I’m going to stick around for a bit and get to know you.” Women also like this because it allows you
to assume control and take care of her.
The important thing to keep in mind is the amount of information revolved around a topic. If you only ask yes/no
style questions which don’t provide room for elaboration, you will soon find yourself in an awkward
Generally, she will soon become uncomfortable and wish to move on. Knowing what to say after the opener comes
from a basic set of social skills which you can work on and improve through practice.
Another thing to remember is women love to talk. Keep them talking about themselves by asking questions and once
in awhile you can share similar interests. Picking up women is all about communicating effectively so a female can
get to know you quickly in order to feel comfortable with the possibility of a date.
If she doesn’t feel like you are capable of the basic skill of socializing with her, she won’t feel comfortable
dating you either. Of course you don’t want to barrage her with questions and sound like you are interrogating
Keep things smooth and the flow moving forward. You will want to throw in a joke here or there or make fun of
yourself now and then. It’s always a great technique making women laugh.
If her friends are nearby you can also include them into the conversation which will take some of the pressure
off you. Be sure if you do this, you are able to charm the entire group, however.
She will be very impressed if you can make her AND her friends feel special. Keep everyone laughing but don’t be
a class clown. There is a balance with humor and you want her to know you are able to have a solid conversation
based in reality as well.
Ultimately by following these strategies and coming up with interesting topics to discuss you will no longer
stumble with what to say after the opener. Women will be drawn to your natural conversationalist personality and
you will avoid those cringing moments where you draw a blank.
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