Meeting Women: Easy Conversation Starters to Talk to
...You see "her" and you're dying to meet her. You
know you'll probably never see her again. So you MUST make a move....but what do you say?
You figure a woman like "her" gets approached what... 10, 20, 30 times a week? You also figure just about every
man who knows her has tried to date her, at least once.
She might even have a boyfriend, or a husband! And even if you knew exactly what to say, how would you keep her
attention and find a reason to get her number and talk to her again?
Relax. Every other man on earth has the same questions when he sees "her." So let's look at a few easy ways
that you can start a conversation without giving yourself a heart attack...
First things First: She's Only Human
Most of us men are puzzled about how to start a conversation with a woman because we have an elevated
expectation. This is not fair to you or to her. She's human, and it's okay to initiate a conversation with her in
the same way you would with any other human being:
"How are you today?" or "Good morning."
Okay, you might be wondering why you had to sign up for a newsletter to get that kind of advice...you
already knew that right? Ah, but that's the first problem. It's typical of human beings to go in search of new
information before they make the best use of what they already know.
Of course, you want to engage her in interesting conversation that sets you apart from the other men who
approach her. But first you have to get your foot in the door and you don't need an over-the-top opener to do
A casual greeting will come across as a lot more genuine and will help you both to relax...
This will make it easy to move to the next step...
Second, Work on Your Improv
The best way to connect with a woman is to be as present with her as possible. Women are much more intuitive
than men can tell when you are "in your own head" or focused on something other than the moment. The problem is
that being spontaneous in our conversation is not a skill which comes naturally to most men.
This is why it's important to practice your skills of improvisation at all times, whether you are approaching
a woman or not. By improvisation I mean being able to pick out something from your surrounding environment and
build a conversation around it. Women are people and they want to be talked to that way.
Having a premeditated plan about what you are going to say to a woman will only make you sound phony. So start
practicing your improvisation skills everywhere that you go using these simple techniques:
1. Talk to everyone you can
The next time you go somewhere, get into the habit of saying: "Good morning" to as many people as possible. Once
you're comfortable with this, add the phrase: "How are you?" This simple exercise will sharpen your social skills
and get you used to talking to people you don't
If you don't talk to anyone and just wait till you see "her", your social skills will be sluggish and awkward.
You'll also be nervous because you'll have more invested in the interaction. So don't wait until you see "her" to
start working on your conversation skills, put in the work now so you'll be ready when the time comes.
Remember, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
2. Look for Props
Props are conversation pieces, or things within your immediate environment that you can build a conversation
around. As you're practicing the habit of talking to everyone, start getting into the habit of looking for props to
use as conversation starters.
Even if you don't use these props, make it a habit to come up with something that you could possibly say to
someone about it. This might seem difficult and awkward at first, but that's only because it's not part of your
routine right now. Do it anyway, keeping in mind that everything that you can now do well was once difficult and
For example, if you're in a Starbucks getting a cup of coffee you can ask her: "Have you had the ___, I was
thinking about getting it." Again, very simple but you never know where the conversation might lead. Most women are
pretty good at talking, especially if there might be
some kind of interest on her part.
In other words, it's not always up to you to do all the work and that's a good thing. This is where the final
step of starting a conversation comes in.
Play a Little Verbal Tennis
If you're nervous about starting a conversation with a
woman you don't know, here is something comforting to remember: a conversation is a two-sided interaction.
Remember, you have one mouth and two ears ...that's so you don't have to be under the pressure to do all the
If you find that you're trying to initiate a conversation with a woman and she's just not responding, you either
caught her at a bad time or she's not interested.
Either way, there's no reason for you to get nervous about starting a conversation because of these two
possibilities. No man, dead or alive, has ever been able to gain the interest of every woman he speaks to... so
there is no reason to put yourself under that kind of pressure. On the other hand, if she is interested you can
take a lot of the pressure off yourself with a little
In other words, practice hitting the "ball" back to her every time you say something by adding a question.
Again, this will take some practice so it's a good idea to find someone to practice with so that your skills are
sharp when you meet her.
Here is a little competitive game that will help you to master the art of verbal tennis: First, you will need a
friend of yours (male or female) to start a conversation with you by asking you a question.
You will also need a small item (like a tennis ball) that you can toss back and forth. After your friend asks
the first question, have them toss the ball to you. Your job is to then respond to the question, ask them a
question and throw the ball back to them.
Keep this up as long as possible, and whoever is holding the ball and not able to come up with a new question
loses the game. As silly as this may sound to you, it will help you to build the conversation skills that will
enable you to engage in a two-way conversation.
If the woman you are speaking to has any kind of interest in you at all, she will do her part to help you keep
Now, you might be thinking: "Okay, this is great for starting the conversation, but what then?"
Well, stay tuned because we'll be getting into that within the next few emails...the next of which will be
covering how to avoid the 5 fatal mistakes that men make when interacting with women. So be looking out for
For more tips about starting and maintaining great conversations with women in the workplace, at the bar, or any
situation, check out 'Conversation Chemistry:'