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Should You Get Back With Your Ex?

Break ups are a natural part of dating and relationships. Many couples sustain long and lasting relationships even with a few bumps along the way.

If you are experiencing a break up or have had a falling out, you may find yourself wondering, should you get back with your ex or is it time to part ways.

Below is advice which will help you analyze the patterns and situation to come up with an answer whether you should get back with your ex.

Reasons NOT to get Back Together

-Multiple Breakups

If you have broken up before or have an on again, off again situation, it may be time to realize one or more elements in the relationship simply won’t work. If you are prone to breaking up, perhaps one or both of you don’t take the relationship seriously.

Sometimes couples fight and break up simply to instill a bit of passion back into their love life. If this pattern is yours, it may be that the passion is long gone and it is time to move on.

-Jealousy or Obsessive Behaviors

If there tends to be a significant amount of jealous outbursts or one of you is constantly tiptoeing around the insecurities of another, it is most likely not a healthy relationship. A co-dependent relationship based on control and fear will eventually tear you apart. It is best to find someone you can trust and whom trusts you to enjoy a relaxed and happy romance.

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-Values and Beliefs

If you and your ex have opposing belief systems when it comes to important matters such as: family, finances, religion or politics, then perhaps you may want to go your own way. It is important in a relationship to have at least a common foundation in which to build.

Couples who do not share the same basic philosophies and principals will have a hard time getting along and also raising a family someday. The long term viability is unstable and both partners will feel misunderstood.

-Broken Trust

There is nothing more detrimental to a relationship than broken trust. If lies, cheating or deceit have driven you apart this can be difficult to mend. Most couples are truly unable to forgive, let alone forget infidelity.

Deception also comes in many forms such as self abusive behaviors, drugs and other forms of indulgences or addictions which are being hidden. The result is a coupling filled with bitterness, insecurity and pain. It is best to move on and start over.

Getting Back Together IS Possible

-Petty Disputes

If your break-up occurred over a petty argument which was not indicative of your feelings for each other than perhaps you should reconsider. Little disputes are normal in a relationship if not healthy. Learn to communicate and compromise.

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-Insecurities

If you broke up due to silly insecurities or felt that you were not worthy of your partners love, bucker up! Apologize and work on your self esteem. It was not the other persons fault you have this issue and working through it is part of creating a foundation as a couple.

Both parties will have flaws and the sooner you learn to accept the little nuisances the better you will be able to endure the trials of life together.

-He Said, She Said

If your break up took place over a little gossip that simply got out of control, perhaps one of you needs to let go of a few sensitivities. So you have hurt feelings. Have a conversation about it, don’t just run away. It’s possible it was meaningless.

-Old Flame Reignited

Perhaps you dated in the past, parted ways and after a time have reconnected. Now you are asking yourself the question many people ask which is, should you get back with your ex after all this time? The answer is, why not!

Many married couples have stories of dating then drifting apart only to reconnect and discover they were meant to be. Read or watch The Notebook to get an idea of how beautiful and right it can be. People change and grow over time. Treat it as a brand new relationship. Fate, after all, has a funny way of showing up in our lives.

Of course these are merely examples of reasons many couples fight and break-up. Let your intuition do most of the work for you when asking yourself, should you get back with your ex?

Write down the pros and cons of the relationship and carefully map your next move. Always keep in mind; it is not about finding someone who is perfect but instead someone whose flaws you can live with and them yours.

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