Tips for Being Successful at Online Dating
Every Monday, I look forward to going into work and hearing about my friend's adventures in online dating. They
come back from the weekend with stories of online messages gone wrong, dates gone worse and the occasional terrible
I use it as entertainment fodder, but we've also used it as a learning process, a learning process that we've
parlayed into an educational process. So thanks to four girls with four varied amounts of online dating experience,
we've come up with the do's and don't of dating online. Are you ready?
Let's start with your profile--
We love to troll you pages, see what you're about and check out your photos. Some of you knock it out of the park,
while others leave a lot to be desired.
First, your photo.
Don't pick a photo that has you and 10 other people in it. We want to know which one is you! Don't pick a blurry
photo or one where we can't even make you out. Please avoid posting any selfie mirror photos. Don't post the
shirtless photo, that screams "I need your attention."
So what do you post?
Pick a few photos of you doing things you like, looking straight on to the camera and some that show your
personality. Post a minimum of four and make sure they aren't just headshots.
Now the content.
This is where you need to put a little bit of time in. Please avoid saying such cliche lines as: "I don't really
know about this online dating thing." "I'm a laid back, nice guy who's just looking for a nice girl." "Nice guys
finish last." and "I don't know how to talk about myself."
If you're writing something that you've seen before, just stop. Delete it and begin again. Be original, be
introspective and write from the heart. Write about real things, not just flat adjectives. Be descriptive and talk
about what you do on the weekends, what your aspirations are, what you enjoy about your life and what you are
looking for in someone else.
You don't need to write a novel, but you don't want just a few sentences either. Profiles are used to weed
people out, so don't let your words get you rejected. Add in a little bit of humor and you're golden.
Your message will make or break you
As a man, you should realize that you have to do most of the messaging. That's just how it is. No use in getting
angry over it. When it comes to online dating there are two things to keep in mind: It's a numbers game and it
You can't just throw on a message or two a week and hope for responses. You need to send out 3 to 5 a day. A Day.
Women who use online dating generally get 5 messages a day, so it really is about playing the odd and throwing out
as many messages as you can, waiting for one to stick.
But, while you want to fill a lot of inboxes, you also want to take the time to personalize them, otherwise they
will go unread and unreturned. Read each profile and find ways to connect with the girl. Come up with a way you can
compliment them (that isn't appearance based, thats cliche), something you have in common and a question you can
ask them. Keep it short and avoid word vomiting a story about yourself or saying something creepy. A lot of men
think its attractive to send out messages about wanting to have sex with the woman receiving the message or how
they would love to use some Adam & Eve toys with them. That's weird, creepy and definitely not going to warrant
So you got a hot girl to respond and you've been chatting for awhile. It's time to take it offline and meet in real
life. Be sure to ask them out after 3 or so email exchanges. Pick a fun, public place that will actually allow you
to talk to each other. Don't go to a movie or a loud club. Be aware of the fact that it can be daunting to meet
someone in real life, so you definitely want to make your date feel at ease by picking a safe, public spot.
Be courteous and be sure to pay for the date. Women will assume you are not into them if you don't pay. It will
also make them think you are cheap. If you don't have a lot of money, pick a cheaper date or even doing something
during the day that's free. Whatever you do, don't go dutch.
Finally, be sure to end the date knowing what's going to happen next. If you want to see them again, let them know.
Ask them out for the second date while you're on the first date. If you didn't feel a connection, let them know in
the nicest way possible so that you don't have to do the awkward texting and fade thing afterwards.
Start implementing these steps into your online dating process and you will find that you will be substantially
more successful. Who knows, maybe we won't even be able to make fun of you Monday morning?
Guest Author: Mandy Matthews is a relationship and sex blogger. She is currently dating and sleeping with
all of the wrong men in San Francisco, CA.